Generation Adulting
When I was a kid, my mom used to have me make my bed a certain way every morning. The sheets under the comforter had to be tucked in and the pillows needed to be aligned neatly. The comforter had to be even on all sides and any additional pillows needed to be aesthetically pleasing. This was every single morning, including weekends. I hated it.
Today, I have my son make his bed a certain way starting with his sheets and pillows followed by the aesthetics of the comforter and additional pillows. He does this every single morning at 6:00 (including weekends). Maybe my mom was a little OCD (or maybe I am), but here's one big lesson I am teaching my son that I was taught: responsibility. To many in my generation, this is a scary word and I am frankly tired of hearing about it.
I remember cooking my own breakfast when I was in the 4th grade and by cooking, I mean taking out ingredients and putting them together to make a dish not pouring cereal in a bowl. I remember dusting and mopping our house and I vividly remember working on my Uncle's ranch, waking up in the early parts of the morning to feed all of the animals and handling several other chores. Today, my son cooks his own breakfast and washes his dishes and knows how to cut certain kinds of meat.
This isn't a post about manhood (though it can be) and this isn't a post to suggest how awesome my mom is (even though she's pretty legit). This isn't even about how much cooler my 11 year old is than you. This is about adulthood and responsibility.
It saddens me that we have established a word that defines the difficulty of ordinary life: adulting. "Adulting" is defined as "doing grown up things and hold responsibilities." Unfortunately, this term is not only comical, but accepted. While some may think that I am strict with my son on making a bed, the truth is I'm providing him with a job that entails responsibility. I really don't care if he makes his bed when he has his own home and family, but I do care about how he handles responsibility.
The word "responsibility" doesn't scare him because it's an expectation; whether as a son or student. He understands that work ethic in the ordinary helps to develop him. He said he wants his first job in high school to be at In-N-Out because the burgers are amazing (which they are!). When you read through the general responsibilities on working at a restaurant, they include bussing tables, washing dishes, taking out the trash, and wiping tables down. What do you think he does when he's at home? Responsibility at home creates ownership.
He wants to be a writer when he grows up so what does he do? Read. He loves to read books and this past year made it to the Multi-Million Word club at school for reading so many books. Responsibility doesn't scare this young man. Yet, there are boys and girls who are in their 20's and 30's who have no idea how to live in the ordinary. Sure, let's blame our parents for not being there and not being enough or point fingers elsewhere, but before doing that, remember you're an adult now. You don't have time to blame mom or dad because the eggs you're cooking are about to burn and you can't pay your light bill in complaints.
We've come so far with technology and communication that we are utterly self absorbed. If you're ready to write me off, save your energy and figure out how to wash your laundry. If you're pissed off at me, then relax by learning to clean your bathroom (please).
I know far too many husbands who use "date night" as an excuse to take their wives out to dinner every night but forget to budget and balance their checking account. Way to go, bro.
I know wives who live in homes that are filled with dirty clothes and sinks filled with dishes and complain about being tired after doing one load of laundry. Seriously?
While I have appreciated the compliments about my son being a little man by many, I'm often confused and asking myself why is that impressive? It's what he's supposed to do. The ordinary is now supernatural.
Have we allowed the pride of our accomplishments to antiquate every day responsibility?
If you think the mentioned examples are domestic activities then stop wondering why you're single or your wife is fed up.
My brother David once told me, "the older you get, the more responsibility you have." Friends, instead of complaining, do something. And if you don't know how then ask and learn so that you can then teach others. Mom and dad aren't here anymore to clean up after you. YOU wanted this so step up to the plate.
