One of the things I love most about our church is how many children we have running around and the vitality they bring to the life of the congregation. In the last two years, we have had 15 babies born! The Lord has been good to our families. As a dad of a 21 year old, it brings back many memories that Rebecca and I shared with Chango, but it has also sparked conversations I don’t remember someone having with me when I first became a dad.

Recently, I’ve been asked by many young fathers on what they can do to be better stay organized or productive as they have young kids at home. Many of these men have felt like they’re trying to do everything at the same speed, but things keep slipping through the cracks. Sometimes this brings discouragement while other times it produces necessary discussions with their wives about areas that need attention.

I tend to be an organizational and productivity enthusiast, so I thought about writing a short article on practices and tools young parents can use as they’re raising young kids. The purpose of such habits and tools is not the practice itself, but presence. We are stewards of what the Lord has entrusted to us and if practices and tools serve no real purpose, then we’re basically like a clock on the wall, always moving but never going anywhere.

FIVE PRACTICES

While I strongly recommend each of these, you’ll have to determine how to best apply them to your season of life. Personally, these practices have been a part of my life long before I was a dad, but became essential for me as a dad. I’ll try to not sound like Dr. Andrew Huberman. I love and respect his content, but much of this I learned from coaches and mentors years ago.

1. Wake Up Early & At The Same Time Everyday

I know there’s plenty of content out there about waking up early to optimize your day and productivity, but quite honestly, it’s become irritating. It’s not so much the hour I’m concerned with as consistency. Ideally, you’re up before everyone else. Each season is different and your job is to asses what it requires of you.

Before I was in ministry full-time, I worked three jobs. I was up at 3:00 a.m. Today, I’m up at 7:00 a.m. The point is, whatever “early” is, make it happen. It’ll help set yourself up for the day without being rushed while providing a daily moment of quiet before the house wakes up, for the most part.

2. Drink Water First Thing

Again, there’s a lot of research on this topic. So, Google it.

It’s definitely tempting to make a strong cup of coffee at first rise, especially after a restless night. However, when we wake up, our bodies are dehydrated. When we start our morning by slamming some water, it not only hydrates us, but kick-starts our organs to ensure they’re working properly. I don’t care if you add salt or lemon. I also don’t care if you say water isn’t your favorite. We’re dads. Drink the water.

If you work out first thing in the morning, then I recommend slamming a small bottle of water then have your supplements or coffee. If you don’t work out in the morning, then start with at least a quart of water before coffee.

3. No Screens for An Hour

Do not let your phone determine what gets your attention. The quiet the morning provides, in the absence of a device, is an opportunity to be shaped by the Word and prayer. It gives your mind time to wake up and function properly, increasing cognitive health without being bombarded by news or notifications. On the other hand, this time is for your health to be formed by grace. We are shaped by what we give our attention to, what we prioritize. There’s nothing too important on your phone that can’t wait another hour.

4. Food Prep

This is one that seems to be the biggest challenge. One of the reasons I hear it’s difficult is because many families enjoy a variety of foods. Variety is good and fun. However, I’m an advocate for food prep. It’s one less decision for the day and having a foundation already makes it easy to incorporate variety. Besides, food prep doesn’t have to be for the entire day. When my son was young, food prep was intentionally functional, not fancy. But when dinner time came around, it was a family event. Dinner was where creativity and intentionality met, providing a rhythm where we could come together and share not only a different meal, but an experience with music, singing, and fun.

The goal wasn’t to optimize every meal, but to make room for what mattered!

5. No Screens Before Bed — Read Instead

One of rhythms we adopted early on was reading before bed. When 8:00 p.m. came, we put our phones away and turned off the TV. Before Chango could read, I would read to him and pray over him. As he grew older, the three of us would read on the couch or I’d read my book while laying on his bed as he read his book. For Chango, this helped him wind down after a day of activities and sleep much better. We started with 20 minutes of reading and worked our way up an hour. Our paraphrased family verse that came from this time is “be faithful with little, be faithful with much” (Luke 16:10).

Over time, Chango tackled series of books on his own! All because we made the small choice to read together from an early age. Whatever you choose to do, the point is, put your phone away and at the same time every day. You’re not that important to the world, but you are your family’s world! It’s a gift to steward presence.

These daily habits aren’t simply for success, but to ensure your spiritual, physical, and cognitive health. There are many other things that could be added to this list, but I’m trying to keep it as simple as possible.

THREE TOOLS

These are tools. Some of them may work for you while others may not. You may already tools that are working for you and that’s great. Or you may already have them, but could grow in intention.

1. Calendar

It’s simple. You need a calendar. Whether it’s on your phone, in print, or a big chalkboard in the living room, you need a calendar. As a parent, you have a lot going on from doctor’s appointments, to school activities, sports, travel, personal appointments, date nights — whatever. It’s a reality that you prayed for at some point and now it’s time to steward it well.

If this isn’t your strong suit, I recommend sitting down once a week with your wife to review the week ahead. Schedule it for an hour. It shouldn’t take more than that. In fact, over time it may take 10 minutes, but schedule the hour just in case additional things need to be addressed like finances or vacations.

2. Digital To-Do List or Reminder

Most phones, I think, already come loaded with some sort of digital reminder or to-do list. Use it to your advantage, especially when it comes to things that are important and randomly pop in your mind.

Get it out of your head and onto the list. The mind is a wonderful place for ideas, but it’s a terrible office assistant.

3. Pocket Notebook

My brother always told me, have something to write on and have something to write with. A pocket notebook serves multiple purposes. First, it strengthens you cognitively. Second, it’s more than likely better to pull out a pocket notebook while you’re with someone instead of your phone, many consider devices on the table rude or a lack of presence. Third, you have ideas — you’re a dad. Write them down, draw them, make it fun. When your’e done with your pocket notebook, save it. One day, give them to your kids so they can see what was going on in your life. They’ll see everything from doodles, grocery lists, random ideas or reminders, to little notes. A life of the ordinary is far more holy than we’d like to admit and it’s a wonderful gift to share with our kids.

FINAL THOUGHTS

These practices and tools simply help with the formation of presence which is the greatest gift you can give your family. They won’t solve all of your problems and there may be other things that are far more helpful to you. The point is, implement them.

One thing I would caution, though, is using personality wiring as an ongoing excuse. I’ve heard many men express that practices or tools such as these are difficult because of their wiring. Listen, your wiring may provide an obstacle or challenge, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to do nothing. We all think differently and are in different seasons, but you owe it to your family to steward what’s been entrusted to you in order to be faithfully present with them. When you say, “I don’t think like that” and refuse to use any tools or seek help, you’re setting you’re setting yourself up for failure. At some point, it becomes a matter of pride.

Additionally, there are those who feel as though they need all of the practices and tools; things need to be set up perfectly. Look, as one who is a productivity nerd enthusiast, calm down, guy. These practices and tools are meant to help you as a steward not a slave. They help create margin and flexibility over time for the purposes of presence not increased optimization.

Finally, all of this changes as seasons change. Don’t listen to the nerds who say you have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. for the rest of your life. Assess your season, stick with it, and when it changes make the necessary adjustments.

Being a dad isn’t about being perfect, but present.

You got this, hermanos.