I am often asked about counseling at our church. I think providing counsel and care is both a privilege and a burden for any ministry leader because as you aim to point people to the gospel, you carry their grief with you at the same time. I think counseling is an incredibly important ministry in the life of the church as it provides formal avenues to care for people in our churches. I would also add that simply because you provide biblical counsel, that doesn’t make you a counselor and I hope that’s some pressure off of your shoulders because it is for me.

Here are 3 things that I have learned (and have often failed at) about counseling:

1. PRAY

I feel like this sounds obvious, but I cannot stress it enough. During your day, be sure to schedule or block appointed times of prayer, especially before meeting with an individual or couple. This is vital because it'll do a few things.

First, prayer connects you with the God of the Bible and places you in a position of humility before God. Second, prayer helps to remind you that the same God you're asking people to fix their eyes upon is the same God you're turning to. And third, prayer reminds you and whoever you meet with that you're hope is not in yourself or them, but Christ.

2. PREPARE

While part of your job is to be present, don't be afraid to have an agenda in order to stay on topic, but also to help you bring the conversation back to the gospel. I've walked into several counseling appointments without any sort of a plan and there have been some appointments that should have lasted an hour but went three hours. Or I've had appointments that should have lasted three hours, but I only spent an hour with members.

An agenda helps you stay on track in the conversation and also reassures those you're meeting that you're looking to get to the heart of their disconnect with God and one another. Additionally, an agenda helps you stay organized should you recommend practical next steps; this helps those you're meeting with a direction.

3. FURTHER CARE

It is perfectly normal to refer people to professional and licensed counselors. You're not going to have all of the answers. Your job is to point them to Jesus AND some need further care that is outside of your wheel house. I think many leaders often place a great deal of pressure on themselves to be someone they’re not or feel pressured by others to be someone they’re not; just because you’ve hit a wall doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

Make sure to have a list of counselors in your area that you trust and potentially have partnered with.

The ministry of counseling is certainly one that needs to be handled with great care and sensitivity, but you should also be aware of your limitations and do not be afraid to ask for help. The goal is to walk others toward hope in Christ and it is also equally important to cast our burdens on God because He cares for us just as much as He care for those we’re caring for.

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